Ah, Winter Break. It came and went all too fast in my humble opinion. Though, the fact that I finally got to see my family was quite a nice change of pace; I hadn’t seen them in over a year after all! I was going through Homeland withdrawal… everything was starting to remind me of home. I probably annoyed my friends like crazy with how much I chattered on and on about Danmark this, and Danmark that, and how “Oh! This song is Danish!” or “Oh! Look! Look at this amazing stuff! Do you know what it is? It’s Danish!” God, I must’ve been annoying. But, I digress. I spent a great chunk of my Winter Break in my “Motherland” of, you’ve probably guessed it by now, Danmark. I spent my days jumping the railroad train tracks to get from one side of town to the next, watching the nightly firework displays of ultimately questionable legality, running around being a generally happy, and not clichély-angsty, teenager, and thoroughly trying to convince my cousin that for the hundredth time, I am not trying to lure him into become a member of my hellish legion of the undead (because I’m a vampire, obviously. I wear black pants, so obviously I am a bloodsucking creature of the night, yes?) Not only that, but I received some lovely Christmas presents from my friends and family. My little cousins made me candles (why they let those toddlers near hot wax, I will never know) that they had made in their pre-school, and my boyfriend, Jeff, had sent over some comic books for me to read. The best gift, though, was seeing the look on my older cousin’s face at her gift from her husband, Henrik. Now, imagine a female schoolteacher, kind of tall, but also kind of scrawny, blonde, young, but nearing middle age, with a loving husband and two small, adorable in not insane, young male children out on a farm. Not imagine this same woman screaming at the top of her lungs with joy as she tackles her husband to the floor upon the sight of her gift: tickets to the one and only Metallica. I was almost worried she had broken the man, but he seemed fine. He’s short, but sturdy, so he should be fine! Now, that was truly a sight to see. Not only that, but it appears that those stories of “Christmas Miracles” and what-not actually come true sometimes. My cousin (you know? The screaming one?) has candles all over her house. I mean, literally, they are everywhere. I’m surprised the place hasn’t gone up in smoke yet. However, on the Christmas Eve of 2011, their cat most certainly did. Now, the cat, Flora, is not the brightest bulb in this world. She being the smartest kitty cat in the whole widey world (obviously) decided that it would be a just simply splendid idea to perch herself in one of the heavily candled windows. Thus, lighting her little kitty cat fanny on fire. The seemingly ablaze cat then looks at her rear, stares for a second… then for a second more. It then takes me a second to realize this, before springing into action. And my version of springing into action means grabbing the bull by the horns; or, in this case, the cat by the tail. Because, in my young, supple mind, I think that the way you stop a fire is to grab it like a ninja. Thus, causing the chain reaction of my cousin screaming, the cat wondering just what the heck in going on, and me realizing how much of a complete and total idiot of a lady firefighter I would make. The whole smelling of burning hair as of then and now, most likely, I let go on the cat, only to have it wander away, unscathed. Looking like me as if to say “Good lord, humans are one of the dumbest things I have yet to come across in all my nine lives, and you are the number one dummy dodo.” Flora prancing away in her usual catlike manner as I stood there, dumbfounded. My cousin, catching her breath from yelping lie a banshee, ran over to me, grabbing at my hands to check if they were okay. There wasn’t a single burn on them. When I told my friends this when I came home, they explained this marvel to me. It isn’t oils on my hands or luck or anything. Nope. I am just obliviously Jesus. That is only logical explanation. Moving on from my amazing skills as the next Christ the Savior slash Human Torch with lady bits, I came home to a very welcoming American populace. By populace, I mostly mean Jeff, who proceeded to snuggle me until I couldn’t breathe, which his brother, Alex, thought was just the most hilariously thing ever. Because choking people is funny as heck, as we all know. But, it’s all good. I got to chuck large Jet Puff marshmallows at his head later whilst Jeffery took pictures of it for his photography class. It never ceases to amaze me what kinds of things they are able to get away with calling modern art these days. Then again, it’s not like I mind. I thought it was awesome, to be perfectly honest. Winter Break in general was pretty awesome, burning felines and nearly choking to death aside. I wish it could have been longer, but, then again, don’t we all? It is but once a fateful year that we get to enjoy this week or so of sheer freedom and bliss, and I intend to take full advantage of it in very possible way that I can think of. I got caught up on my various arrays of comic series, I got to see my far away family, and I got to snuggle the people I love. Seems like a pretty good deal, and a way to spend one’s time, if you ask me!
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