Winter Break (1000 Words~)

Ah, Winter Break. It came and went all too fast in my humble opinion. Though, the fact that I finally got to see my family was quite a nice change of pace; I hadn’t seen them in over a year after all! I was going through Homeland withdrawal… everything was starting to remind me of home. I probably annoyed my friends like crazy with how much I chattered on and on about Danmark this, and Danmark that, and how “Oh! This song is Danish!” or “Oh! Look! Look at this amazing stuff! Do you know what it is? It’s Danish!” God, I must’ve been annoying. But, I digress. I spent a great chunk of my Winter Break in my “Motherland” of, you’ve probably guessed it by now, Danmark. I spent my days jumping the railroad train tracks to get from one side of town to the next, watching the nightly firework displays of ultimately questionable legality, running around being a generally happy, and not clichély-angsty, teenager, and thoroughly trying to convince my cousin that for the hundredth time, I am not trying to lure him into become a member of my hellish legion of the undead (because I’m a vampire, obviously. I wear black pants, so obviously I am a bloodsucking creature of the night, yes?) Not only that, but I received some lovely Christmas presents from my friends and family. My little cousins made me candles (why they let those toddlers near hot wax, I will never know) that they had made in their pre-school, and my boyfriend, Jeff, had sent over some comic books for me to read. The best gift, though, was seeing the look on my older cousin’s face at her gift from her husband, Henrik. Now, imagine a female schoolteacher, kind of tall, but also kind of scrawny, blonde, young, but nearing middle age, with a loving husband and two small, adorable in not insane, young male children out on a farm. Not imagine this same woman screaming at the top of her lungs with joy as she tackles her husband to the floor upon the sight of her gift: tickets to the one and only Metallica. I was almost worried she had broken the man, but he seemed fine. He’s short, but sturdy, so he should be fine! Now, that was truly a sight to see. Not only that, but it appears that those stories of “Christmas Miracles” and what-not actually come true sometimes. My cousin (you know? The screaming one?) has candles all over her house. I mean, literally, they are everywhere. I’m surprised the place hasn’t gone up in smoke yet. However, on the Christmas Eve of 2011, their cat most certainly did. Now, the cat, Flora, is not the brightest bulb in this world. She being the smartest kitty cat in the whole widey world (obviously) decided that it would be a just simply splendid idea to perch herself in one of the heavily candled windows. Thus, lighting her little kitty cat fanny on fire. The seemingly ablaze cat then looks at her rear, stares for a second… then for a second more. It then takes me a second to realize this, before springing into action. And my version of springing into action means grabbing the bull by the horns; or, in this case, the cat by the tail. Because, in my young, supple mind, I think that the way you stop a fire is to grab it like a ninja. Thus, causing the chain reaction of my cousin screaming, the cat wondering just what the heck in going on, and me realizing how much of a complete and total idiot of a lady firefighter I would make. The whole smelling of burning hair as of then and now, most likely, I let go on the cat, only to have it wander away, unscathed. Looking like me as if to say “Good lord, humans are one of the dumbest things I have yet to come across in all my nine lives, and you are the number one dummy dodo.” Flora prancing away in her usual catlike manner as I stood there, dumbfounded. My cousin, catching her breath from yelping lie a banshee, ran over to me, grabbing at my hands to check if they were okay. There wasn’t a single burn on them. When I told my friends this when I came home, they explained this marvel to me. It isn’t oils on my hands or luck or anything. Nope. I am just obliviously Jesus. That is only logical explanation. Moving on from my amazing skills as the next Christ the Savior slash Human Torch with lady bits, I came home to a very welcoming American populace. By populace, I mostly mean Jeff, who proceeded to snuggle me until I couldn’t breathe, which his brother, Alex, thought was just the most hilariously thing ever. Because choking people is funny as heck, as we all know. But, it’s all good. I got to chuck large Jet Puff marshmallows at his head later whilst Jeffery took pictures of it for his photography class. It never ceases to amaze me what kinds of things they are able to get away with calling modern art these days. Then again, it’s not like I mind. I thought it was awesome, to be perfectly honest. Winter Break in general was pretty awesome, burning felines and nearly choking to death aside. I wish it could have been longer, but, then again, don’t we all? It is but once a fateful year that we get to enjoy this week or so of sheer freedom and bliss, and I intend to take full advantage of it in very possible way that I can think of. I got caught up on my various arrays of comic series, I got to see my far away family, and I got to snuggle the people I love. Seems like a pretty good deal, and a way to spend one’s time, if you ask me!

Everything is going to the Beat

And tonight I sat with eyes awake
Staring at a screen to take
A picture of my memories dear
A song that no human voice can hear
And as I sit, with weary face
With grasping, grabbing, screeching fate
I wonder to myself, so late,
Why I am I awake here?


And then as I begin to write
Begin to relive that fateful night
When leaves and petals and love and gold
Took root in my age not so old
And light and darkness had no meaning
And my life was never less demeaning
As I left home and left my being
To begin a world anew


And as I go to sleep tonight
In all my dreams, you shine so bright
I love you, I love you, with all my might
I love you more than birds in flight
And the dogs that fight
And the cops that plight
And the pigs that shite
And the shooters that bight
And the gods that smight
And the moths that white
And the sins that fear, o', Heaven's light
None of that matters tonight
Because I'm here, my Vite


And now I go up to sleep
My pillow keeps my mind a-leap
And as I drift to Neverland
I know it's You, who keeps my life so grand
And I know it to be so true
And I know it to be so You
Could always help me to get through
When "Everything is going to the Beat."

I wrote the poem this way to not only show my emotions that day, but to also better show the emotions I have towards it at this current moment as I write it. I used rhyme quite heavily, because I feel that something sing-song like is the best way of describing that time in my life, because, frankly, that's what it was. Childlike, and bright; and I will always remember it that way. I fit in some imagery, though mostly metaphorical and whimsy (just the way I like it), and I wanted to have the poem rely greatly on repetition of certain rhymes and words to better show the connectivity of everything inside it; like a Clockwork Universe.  Lastly, I incorporated the quote from Howl: "Everything is going to the Beat", due to the fact that I cannot recall a time in my life where I've ever felt so connected to a quote as I am to this one. I suspect that I will become a large influence in my life, and has already begun to inspire several artistic works from me.

~Goodnight

I will name my first born girl, Caesura.

Activity A:


Is there a tune 

more happy

than a daughter’s windchime laugh?  

A silence 

more crushing

than her rolling tear? 

Is there a breeze

more cooling 

than a son’s slumbered sigh?

A thought

more awesome 

than the question that he asks?

And is there a truer joy

when I am the clown?

Shame when I 

Accuse

and rage? 

Peace when I pull up 

the sheet?

Pride when I strike 

the flint?  I

made these kids

and I make these kids.  

And they 

make me.

Activity B:

Behaviour

Swans feed

in the water

and on land.

They are

almost

entirely herbivorous, although

small numbers of aquatic animals

may be eaten.

In the water

food is

obtained

by up-ending or dabbling,

and their diet is

composed of the roots,

tubers,

stems

and leaves

of aquatic

and submerged plants.

(From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swan)

Activity 3:

Am I not good enough? Why can't I be a favorite for once? I try my hardest each and every freaking day. And yet, no matter what I do, it's never good enough. I'm always second place, no matter what. And I hate it! I don't care if I sound like a brat! Like this'll get read anyway. It's not good, it's not worth reading. It's a teenager spouting and whining and being a stupid bitch. There, I swore now. Does that show that I have balls now? Does that I show that I actually care? No. It doesn't. I don't need to do that to show that I'm determined. Though, apprently, I have to. I didn't swear in my past poems. I didn't have to. I didn't see why I had to. It didn't need them! It didn't fit with the poem! I'm the poet, I get to decided what shit goes where! There, I swore again. Does this make this better? Is it so wrong that I want someone to be proud of me? Someone to say that I did something right? Is that so fucking wrong? No! Of course it's not! Now I feel like I'm going to cry. God, I'm such an idiot. All I do is bitch to myself. I need to suck it up, and get better. Then someone will recognize me someday. Then someday I'll be good enough. I'll be someone's favorite. Someone will say that my work was worth it. That'll it'll be read. That someone will give a shit about it. 'Cause god knows no one does right now. I'm just a kid who can't write worth a shit. Like I'll actually reach my dreams. Dreams are bullshit. At least mine are. That's for sure.

(Freeverse)

All I do is
bitch
to myself.
I need to suck it up,
and get better.
Then someone will recognize me
someday.
Then someday
I'll be good enough.
I'll be someone's favorite.
Someone will say that my work
was worth it.
That'll it'll be read.
That someone will give
a shit
about it.
'Cause god knows
no one does right now.
I'm just a kid
who can't write
worth a shit.
Like I'll actually reach my
dreams.
Dreams
are bullshit.
At least
mine are.
That's for sure.

(Freeverse bit in poetic form)

'10 Things I Write About You'

I stare up at the sky
And I tilt my chin upwards
I expect to see the sun
But all I see is you

*

Sometimes I want to punch you in the face
But mostly I want to snuggle it better
Does that make me weird?
No
It makes me a teenage female

**

In my eyes I see deep, dark mud

Only mud

But in yours I see cool oceans, sunlight skies, and the grass beneath my feet

***

Even when my hair is mussy

You think it's adorable

Even when I don't

****

I can't walk as fast as you can

Nor as fast can I run

But a heart could never beat faster than mine

*****

Something about you

A certain scent you bring

It smells like home

******

Maybe it's just human nature

But the one you love beats a pillow any day

*******

Every night

And every morning

I awake and think of you

********

Do I have rumblies in my tummy?

Nope

Those are just the butterflies

*********

I never pass my spelling tests these days

I keep spelling love Y-O-U

**********

You're

Only

Unbelievable

"I've got a feeling..."

A bite the end of my thumb nervously
As I wait on the edge of the cruveballing street
Twisting my flats into the walkway, I grip my sides tighter
The bubbles in my stomach rise as I see the cars drifting swiftly by
Not knowing which one is you
The lights flicker from red, to yellow, to green, and back again, the leafs flutter down one by one
The wind swirls around my head and I fuss with it
I don't want you to see me so frazzled
I just want you to see me
A famliar squeak and a halt
The gravel on the road sputters around my exposed toes
And I see the beams go out, and here a rattling open
And I see you

Modernism

                                        Love.             love                love.                                                                     love                    love             love                             love...                                                                   Love               love.                 love                               Love.                                                               love love love...                                                                                                                                     LOVE!

I dare you to figure this out.

Did ali, did ali, didgeridoo



I llama, i llama, i llama shrew

Dopemine, dopemine, dopemine too

Ilalala, ilalala, ilalala do

Calomine, calomine, calomine through

Onama, onama, onama pew

Nomnomaly, nomnomaly, nomnomaly queu

Fukafa, fukafa, fukafa flew

Underoo, underoo, underoo ew

Silky sweet, silky sweet, silky sweet new

Ekiba, ekiba. ekiba mew

Yoyotoss, yoyotoss yoyotoss leu

Open up, open up, open up tu

Uncle ba, uncle ba, uncle ba boo

?

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